I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
