Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize