I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
