Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
