Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
