Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
