i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's blow job season.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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