he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
