I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
