we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
