It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
