Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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