She went from zero to smokin in five shots
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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