and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
