You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
