East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I want to have your abortion
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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