Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
