We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He? As in you personified your dick?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm too high and old for this...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
