Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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