I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
