just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
