White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
well you can't waste a boner
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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