All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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