it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
