Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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