You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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