carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
