so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
