i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
