we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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