she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I would fuck him just for his dog
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize