well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
