I want to make a zoo with you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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