Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
