I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You need a sexual gate keeper
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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