Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
