Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
