sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
