I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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