im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
