summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
