Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize