I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
