Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That's how pantless uber rides happen
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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