I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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