So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I am in a vortex of obligation.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
