I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
