That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
