You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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