Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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