Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
