"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
