Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
