I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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