Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
