Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
