What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
