Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
