Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
