Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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