i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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