OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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